Little Johnny walked into his house a few weeks before his birthday and told his mother, “Mom, the priest said that Jesus told his disciples, “Ask and You Shall Receive.” I want an Xbox and a new Bicycle for my birthday, and you have to get it. Jesus said so.”
Funny how kids are, no?
This page has a lot of stuff on funny poems, such as how to write a funny or sweet 1st birthday poem, a few examples of funny first birthday poems, a funny happy birthday song, and a few funny quotes, funny sayings, and funny messages.
These birthday quotes and birthday sayings from famous people will inspire you, while the funny happy birthday song ideas can give you an idea or two of ways to spice up the birthday songs for your little one. Enjoy the page with all the funny birthday poems and other funny stuff you can find.
A Few for the Classics
Below are a few classic birthday poems, with a bit of wit, a bit of humor, and only a touch of irony in some of the poetry. Check this first one out:
I’m one already, already
The folks say they can’t believe how time has flown
But what perplexes me, quite profoundly
Is the speed at which I’ve grown
It’s funny because it conjures up in your mind the mental image of your little baby looking down at his or her body and seeing just how fast it has grown in the last year.
Another funny poem is all about how babies have power over the adults:
Being born was great for me,
Though I can’t recall the chore,
But every year I’m pleased to see,
That it’s me they all adore.
My mom and dad stay close to me;
They claim to know me well;
They’re proud to know a celebrity,
And me, I know they’re swell.
They celebrate, they laugh and sing,
And gifts on me they shower;
I must have done a wondrous thing,
My birthday cries, BABY POWER!
by Karl Fuchs
The sad thing is, it’s really true that babies do have all the power over the parents. Think about it…
When baby cries, parents rush to pick him up (score 1 for baby)
When baby cries, mommy rushes to nurse (score 1 for baby)
When baby cries, both parents hold their noses as they rush to change the terribly stinky diaper (score 1 for baby)
When baby coos adorably, adults melt and parents give the little one basically anything he or she could possibly want (score many for baby)
When baby smiles at mommy, her heart turns to goo and she gives baby anything he or she could want (score lots more for baby)
When baby smiles at passing strangers, they stop and go into convulsions of speaking absolute nonsense and talking little fools with the baby. Usually some pretty good comic relief (score plenty of points for baby)
When mommy finally puts baby down to sleep, she gets a few moment of peace (score 1 for mommy)
The final score: Mommy = 1, Baby = Too many points to count
Adults like to think that they are in control, but baby usually has control over the parents for the first few years of their life. You’d think we parents would be smarter than a 1-year old (quite literally)…
Here’s a cute little birthday prayer for your baby on this special day:
On your birthday,
I pray that you will always
have laughter in your life.
I pray that I will often
have the privilege and joy
of seeing you smile.
I pray that you
will be easily amused
and find life funny
instead of crazy.
I pray that this birthday
finds you peaceful and happy.
In Jesus’ name I pray; amen.
By Joanna Fuchs
There’s something about cake that is magical to the little one. After all, it is a giant colored toy that actually tastes good – a real treat for baby who is used to chewing on plastic and wood.
Baby can put his hands in the cake, throw it at the adults, stuff it in his face, paint his cheeks with it, get it in his hair, stain the bib, and all adults will do is say “Aww” and “How adorable!”. Smart little guy.
Birthday cake is truly a magical toy that will change baby’s life forever, and it’s something that comes around every year. Here is a cute little poem on birthday cake for baby:
My Birthday Cake
by Bobbi Katz
Why is birthday cake so good?
I love it oh so much!
It’s good to eat – but even more –
I think it’s nice to touch!
It’s squashy pink and sticky white
And stuffed with special goo.
With candy roses on the top –
One time my piece had two!
I like to blow the candles out.
I like to make the wish.
But more than all I like to lick
The frosting off the dish.
Now sundaes are quite wonderful.
Banana splits are fine.
But birthday cake is something else –
Especially if it’s mine!
Yes, birthday cake truly is something magical for the little one.
Here’s another funny little birthday poem:
It’s your birthday, there is no cure,
Cakes and candles, you must endure,
Quick and painless, let me assure,
A tiny chance, you will be mature,
With this crowd, usually secure,
Random fun, with results obscure,
Liquids we drink, definitely pure,
Goofy friends, minds we tour,
Hilarious birthday, that’s for sure.
The Funny Birthday Song
There is nothing like a funny birthday song to break you out of the mold of singing the same old tunes every year, as “Happy Birthday” or “He’s a Jolly Good Fellow” are the songs of choice. If you want to change things up, here are a couple of funny birthday songs for you to sing for your little one:
Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday To You
You Look Like a Monkey, and You (Smell, Act, or Look) Like One Too!
Kids love that version of the birthday song, so consider it as a replacement for the standard tunes.
Want something a bit more traditional but a bit less common? Try this Spanish version of the birthday song:
Apio Verde eres tu, Apio Verde eres tu
Apio Verde eres tu, Apio Verde eres tu
The lyrics of the song say “You are a Green Celery!” over and over. The reason they say this is that “apio verde” sounds kind of like “happy birthday” when it is mispronounced by someone who speaks Spanish and almost no English (usually “hapi berdey”).
Words of Wisdom for the Little One
Now we come to a few words of wisdom that the little one can stand by as he or she grows into a slight larger one. These words of wisdom have been passed down since time immemorial, with solemn commands like “Don’t drink from the toilet bowl!” and “The dog will bite back!” being top on the list.
Here are a few more for your little one:
“What is a home without children? Quiet.”
~ Henry Youngman
“If you carry your childhood with you, you never become older.”
~ Tom Stoppard
“If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses.” ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Children are like wet cement. Whatever falls on them makes an impression.”
– Dr. Haim Ginott
“Remember that playtime is never over even though you grow older.”
“Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.”
“(Kids) are like television. Some are like PBS and always asking for money. Others are like the news, with sad tales to tell everyday, some are like that one station with the foreign language; you don’t understand a word of it but you listen and watch.”
That last one is incredibly true, as children are like magnets for all sorts of dirt, grease, mud, and sticky objects.
For the final word from the wise, we turn to one of the wisest and wackiest men that has ever lived: Dr. Seuss:
”A person’s a person, no matter how small.”
~ Dr. Seuss
As your child celebrates his or her first birthday, it is just the first step in the journey that will take them the rest of their life to complete. Use these words of wisdom to help you as you interact with them, and let them sink into your mind as you watch your child grow.
“Whatever they grow up to be, they are still our children, and the one most important of all the things we can give to them is unconditional love. Not a love that depends on anything at all except that they are our children.”
– Rosaleen Dickinson
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